All round random weirdness...
Had a really weird dream last night. I was meant to be off to Exeter Uni to live with Will Young (as you do) but then someone told me I was pregnant so I wasn't allowed to go. I hadn't noticed my huge bump...it was very bizarre. Apparently having a baby/being pregnant in a dream signifies new beginnings. Oooher. I have some weird dreams (that's not actually that weird for me)
I'm really fed up of marking and I'm only just hitting the half way mark. I'll be rocking backwards and forwards by the end of it. My lips (mouth!) are really itchy - how weird is that. It is very annoying. What's that all about?! Maybe it's because I'm itching to get rid of the marking (but it's not going to go away is it...no...damn!)
Better get back to it - Little Albert and his blimmin fluffy white rat!
Food for thought...
...Mike found this and it's one of the most moving things I've read in a good long while.
Feeling a bit glum...
Tonight was the last night of my counselling skills course. It's been an interesting experience to say the least. Think 9 of us stuck it out to the end and what a diverse bunch we were. I guess that's what kinda made it more interesting - the group dynamics - meeting and interacting with such a varied group was probably the best part of it. It's weird - we've told each other all sorts of stuff, y'know like really personal stuff, yet we were complete strangers just 10 weeks ago and now that's that - we're all off our separate ways. My head thinks that's odd. But then again I suppose at uni there are loads of people you see everyday, that are part of the everyday fabric of that part of your life, then you all move on. My head just doesn't like that. Shame you can't take them all with you.
Mmmmmmm...
I forgot how nice fish finger sarnies are.
(Jo my lovely, stop those thoughts right now)
Mock driving test numero dos...
Well it went better than the first one which you'd hope it would given that I've had much more practise since then. And as my instructor said "you were breathing this time" - always good! I managed to keep my cool this time and didn't panic (as much) when I stalled *eyes roll*
Did 3 manouvres instead of the usual 2 and if we say, hmmm I don't know... exclude the reverse park...then I would have passed ;0) Even though I did mount the kerb (dammit) during that one I did manage to correct myself realy well which makes me feel a little more confident about my ability *cough* My reverse round a corner was spot on and my turn in the road was so-so.
I know I can drive, it's just the blasted nerves that get in the way. Just need to make sure I look around LOTS, watch my speed and stay calm. Easier said than done but I know I *need* to have a more positive attitude towards it otherwise I'm setting myself up to fail. Self-fulfilling prophecies and all that. It's not like the pressure is there for me to pass right now, I think it's more the fact that I've never failed an exam before (I discount my E in GCSE IT ;0) and I don't like the idea of failing, even though it doesn't have any far reaching consequences.
I guess all I can do is try my hardest and if that's good enough, great, if it's not then I'll just have to keep trying until it is...
Lost in Lost
My thoughts so far:
John Locke has to be one of the most bizarre characters *ever*. Even after seeing the whole of season 2 I can't get over the total mismatch between 'island John' and 'old John'. Weird.
Don't like the freaky polar bear *shudder*. Tongith was my first encounter with the polar bear. I don't think I want to see anymore of them.
This season has a much larger element of humour than the last one. It's actually quite funny as well as on the edge of your seat scary (well I think it's scary anyway) Makes for bizarre viewing - one minute hand clamped over mouth in anticipation of something scary, next minute chuckling.
No more "next week on Lost" previews, boooooo! Bring back the preview.
The curse of perfectionism...
Right, I've spent most of the day (when I've not been procrastinating or being jumped on by my delightful nieces) completing my counselling skills portfolio. We had to write a journal each week (10 week course) reflecting back on what we'd done each week etc etc. Being me I got behind with said journal writing and had almost 3 to complete this weekend. Also being me, I did not do the bare minimum of a typed sheet per week, no no no I had to do it 'properly' so they're mostly about 1200 words each!!! We're having computer 'issues' at the moment. The bloody thing just keeps conking out. So I've been mostly working on Tom's computer when he's at work. Anyway he got back from work so I vacated his computer accordingly and came back to the 'dodgy' one. I must have written a good 3000+ words today already but realised one of my other journals needed ammending and was in a different font (noooooooooo my perfectionist mind screamed, that can't be!) Due to said computer issues I've got stuff saved all over the place and in various e-mail accounts. I realised said journal was only saved at work (darn it!) but could not cope with the possibility of having 9 journals in one font and an odd one in another font. It just wouldn't do. So I just retyped the entire journal. Midway through the computer froze (again) so I had to restart it and retype the bit I'd lost. But I just had to you see. Now they all match. Even though only 3 people will be reading through my portfolio and they probably wouldn't even notice let alone be bothered in the slightest, it would have bugged me.
MIKE I DO NOT CARE IF THERE IS A WAY OF ACCESSING WORK STUFF FROM HOME. DO NOT TELL ME THIS NOW OR I WILL FEEL EVEN MORE RAGE! AND DO NOT SLATE MY VERY STEREOTYPICALLY FEMALE APPROACH TO SAID COMPUTER SITUATION. IN FUTURE I WILL SAVE ALL WORK ONTO THE MEMORY STICK I BOUGHT FOR THAT PURPOSE (LOVE YOU! ;0)
Hats
I've decided hats are pretty cool. I've never appreciated them before (well not on my head anyway)
Today I feel ill - y'know that non-descript ill feeling - headache, hot then cold, generally achey all over etc etc. And I look as though I feel ill! I had a wander over to Asda (for some fresh air and soup!) I always see people I know when I go to Asda and to be quite honest I wasn't in the mood for talking. I'd rather not talk than annoy people by being grumpy! I get paranoid about my annoying grumpiness! But now I have a hat I didn't have to talk to anyone because I could hide away beneath my hat. Yay for hats!
I also had to walk Kelly and it's vewy cold and windy so I wore the hat my Mum bought when she was in Prague. I must have looked very 'special' (it's a chunky knitted black/grey/cream hat with plaited tassles down the sides and one on top) but it kept my head and my ears all snug and warm. Again yay for hats!
(Yeah yeah I know I'm rambling about hats but I'm really struggling to be productive today and procrastination seems to be winning...must...try...harder...)
Thank the BBC for this little snippet...
"Male African Golden web orb spiders have two penises, both of whch drop off during sex"
Weird huh?!
Grumble grumble...
I've got a headache. I don't want to do any marking. Or any of my counselling course portfolio. But I have to. So I had better just get on with it. And stop moaning.
On a positive note when I first woke up this morning I had 'that Christmas feeling' albeit fleetingly. It was nice.
I've been listening to the new Beatles Love album "26 tracks re-worked by George and Giles Martin. The Neatles as you've never heard them before...". To be fair I am only 22 so I haven't really noticed anything different given that I wasn't around when the originals were. But it is very goooooood. Current favourites: Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, Lady Madonna and Strawberry Fields Forever.
Hmmm the bit about music is longer than the actual post. Ho hum.
December next week, surely not?!
How did that happen so soon?! Time really does fly. And I'm not even having fun. How fast would it be going if I was?!!!
Not liking the wintery weather. My hair definitely doesn't like it. I bought a hat. I've not worn a hat for years because they always look stupid but this one is quite nice (it's brown - surprise surprise!) and might keep my hair tamed as well as keeping my head warm. What more could I ask for hey ;0)
December does mean it's nearly Christmas though. I love Christmas, especially now Ellie and Libbs are around - they've brought back the magic and sparkle. Last year I had the best Christmas I can remember. Nothing particularly remarkable happened. It was just a *really* nice family Christmas. Perfect. That's what Christmas is all about. I think so anyway. As long as I have my sage and onion stuffing (!) and am surrounded by people I love I'll be content. This year might be the year to introduce Ellie to the wonder that is The Muppet Christmas Carol. She's got pretty good taste for a 3 year old (she loves Willy Wonka - I tell you she's advanced!) so I'm sure she'll appreciate The Muppet Christmas Carol and all its glory. Yay for Christmas :0D
New Year is an entirely different matter. I HATE New Year with a passion. It makes me think too much (expectations and all that...), but I'll not worry about that just yet ;0P
Gutted :0(
At the moment my life is, well, quite boring really. I like my job but I don't actually do much else (I realise only I can change this) I was all excited by the prospect of seeing Nerina Pallot in concert tomorrow night. Just went on the website to double check I knew where the venue was, and guess what...it's fu**in rescheduled (Note: I do not swear very often - this means I am very upset!). This is the second time this has happened to me in 2 months - first Corinne Bailey Rae, now Nerina Pallot. I may actually cry. I know that is incredibly pathetic but I was *really* looking forward to it and now I have to wait til JANUARY :0(
-UPDATE - Tuesday 21st November
Erm...I'm feeling much more rational this morning *eyes roll* It's not that bad really - least it wasn't cancelled altogether AND I still get to take my sis out for tea (even if I do have to pay, tehehe - only joking sis - you're worth it!)
I was listening to Nerina Pallot while I packed my overnight stuff for tomorrow - now I'm sulking and have turned Nerina off.
Oh dear...
We were sitting in the staff room today discussing the very pretty (y'know tall, thin, long legged blonde!) new girl at work and my mate Matthew was saying she wasn't his type (which baffled us all knowing Matthew). He then proceeded to dig himself a massive hole culminating in him commenting that "at least with someone like Sarah you know she'll always be there when you go home" (He thought this was a compliment, bless) Oh dear....cheers for that one Matthew! Good old dependable Miss McT hey?!!! Good job I can laugh at myself hey.
One year in...
to my working life! Yep today is my one year anniversary of having a 'proper' job. I feel like I've achieved something - a whole year - though I've no doubt Dad will remind of the forty odd years I have yet to do! Can't seem to get a hold on the time thing. In some ways it seems like I've been here a short while but then in others it feels like so much has happened in this year. My work colleagues say I've changed alot (in a good way they assure me!) So...happy working anniversary to me!
33 down...
...that's more than 10%. Yeah I still have nearly 90% to mark (*groan*) but if I'm going to be optimistic about it (and I am really going to try!) I have already done more than 10%. Well done me. Not sure how you're meant to be consistent...*thinky face* So far it's not been too bad - once I sit down and get on with it, it's actually ok.
- UPDATE - Sunday 19th November
Yeah, scrap that - it's getting quite tedious now! Didn't take long did it! I have an achey arm from all that red pen action (yeah I know pathetic!) It's not an achey pain more of an annoying one - like when you bash your funny bone :0S but it's not funny. I'm keeping myself going with the thought a watching Lost tonight, yay!
Well I'm going to admit it - I watched 10 minutes (and 10 minutes only, honest) of "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here" tonight. I was curious because Chris Moyles has been talking about it all week and saying how funny it is, and I do have a soft spot for Jason Donavon (I remember the Kylie and Jason era fondly, awww). I dragged myself away though because I do not want to get hooked. I do not have time to get reeled in. And I know I will because I'm a sucker for things like that. It may be mostly tripe but at the end of the day it usually is highly entertaining tripe. People are very interesting, especially when faced with bizarre set ups like that.
Last night I watched some prime viewing material - Take That in concert in Manchester (the actual concert we went to in all it's rainy wet glory!) All in all it was how a friday night should be spent, especially a cold miserable friday night - with friends, good banter, red wine and good food... :0)
At the moment I'm loving the song Life on Mars on the '3' advert. I've also had a good dose of Balamory today - some of those songs are awesome. Oooh and the Tots TV themetune - gotta love that one. "I'm a tot, je suis un tot, Tilly, Tom and Tiny. We're the tots on Tots TV, 1 2 3!" etc etc "Sac magique, sac magique!!!" Ah the memories...!
Red pen at the ready...
Well I've started my marking - 2 down, 298 to go! I will be thoroughly familiar with the behaviourist model of abnormality by the time I'm through. I'm having issues. Don't want to be too harsh or too soft. I mean, 1 point can mean the difference between 2 grades. My plan - to mark a few and get someone to check over them to make sure I'm on the right track. I don't want to shatter anyone's confidence! Then I will feel reassurd that I'm doing it right and everyone will be happy. Yes. I think that is the way forward. And once the hard work is done I shall have a shiny new hi-fi, yay :0)
I'm having the most random couple of weeks at work. Lots of weird stuff is happening and it's all rather intense. My admin has fallen to the wayside but it'll get done. Stayed back for a bit last night to do some catching up (see how dedicated I am). I really don't get paid enough for this job but I do love it (mostly) so I can't really complain. I do but I shouldn't really. Today I 'had' (long story) to go along to Junk Band (very cool) but they made me join in (not cool). I have no musical talent whatsoever and wanted the ground to open up and swallow me! I'm going red now just thinking about it. CRINGE!
I was going to have a ramble about 2 really interesting programmes I've watched this week (one about selective IVF and one about facial reconstruction of disfigured children in developing countries) but then I've remembered I'm meant to be doing my marking. I only came online to check I remembered the Pavlov's dogs study accurately. And I do. Well done me. Anyway maybe I'll have a ramble about IVF and facial reconstruction another day. I probably will. Bet you can't wait.
Oooh riveting stuff hey ;0P
I like...
"It is not our purpose to become each other; it is to recognise each other, to learn to see the other and to honour him for what he is."
Hermann Hesse
It's the weekend again already...
Well it's been a bizarre week to say the least. There has been some high drama but it's been interspersed with some finer moments. I've surprised myself with how I've responded to testing times and it's given me a bit of a boost. I'm not such a fairy afterall!
I've been rushed off my feet at work and it's been pretty stressful but I've had a good week with my students. I've felt like I've been getting somewhere with them and making progress :0) Having a tutor group has been a major challenge because I've got a totally random group who I don't teach and who don't have classes together. I really want to be a good tutor but admin (grrr!) gets in the way of you really getting to know your students. I'm finally making headway with that and with helping them to get to know each other some more. This week I split them into two random groups and asked each group to make a shoebox for the Romania Christmas appeal. I provided the wrapped shoeboxes and christmas cards but it was up to them to fill the boxes. At first they weren't very responsive and I thought the idea had gone down like a lead balloon! But they really impressed me - I had to wrap another shoebox because we had more than enough stuff. So they got to know each other a bit better and did something really nice that'll brighten up someone's Christmas. Yay!
I can't believe how fast time is passing at the moment. It's actually scary. When I was at uni time flew by and I thought it'd slow down in the 'real world' outside of the Trevs bubble, but nope it got faster. All this talk of Christmas when it feels like it's only just been summer!
I've got loads to do at the moment but I'm in full on procrastination mode. I *should* be writing up my assignment (due Monday!) and catching up on journals for my counselling course but instead I'm sat here rambling on my blog and uploading photos...and then I'm off to town for coffee and cake (important!) and to get stuff for my Romania shoebox and maybe even do a bit of Christmas shopping.
Sod it, it's the weekend, I've worked bloody hard all week, I think I deserve the break, the work can wait til tomorrow...she says unconvincingly!
I'm not listening to any music right this minute but if I was (!) I'd probably be listening to Vernon Kay's radio show. I will be very shortly.
Don't dream it, be it!
Went to see Rocky Horror last night. It's such a fun night out! The atmosphere was brill, there were some fantastic costumes and a lot of audience participation. Classic! I am feeling slightly disconcerted that I find the guy who played Frank N. Furter much more attractive when he's in his basque and suspenders...he was FIT! There is also something slightly disconcerting about seeing your mum dressed up in Rocky Horror get up...hmmm! At one point she was draped across the stairs getting a photo taken. "Mother!" I exclaimed, and a bystander chipped in with "Mother's looking pretty damn fine". Eugh! She did look fab of course, but she's my mum...!!! That was Rocky Horror numero dos for me and I'll definitely be going again. Woohoo!
Photos are on Ringo. Be prepared for some scary sights. Big wig is back!
Right now I'm listening to the Rocky Horror soundtrack, much to Dad's distress!!!
Doom and gloom...
So it continues. All we ever seem to hear about is bad stuff - death, disease, social unrest, war, global warming, natural disasters, the impending collapse of everything as we know it...the list goes on...and on...and on...! I'm usually a fairly happy-go-lucky person but even I'm started to feel pretty hopeless about 'the future'. This whole change in weather and the darker days has certainly not helped the general mood. I think we underestimate just how much difference a bit of sunshine makes. Now everything just seems that much more gloomy.
I appreciate there is a hell of a lot of crap going on and we can't bury our heads in the sand and ignore it. I'm not saying we should. Quite the contrary, we need to take some bloody responsibility and *actually do something*. But where is the incentive to do anything if all we hear is shrouded in pessimism and total hopelessness?! I'm not saying we should play down the bad things, I'm just saying we should even the balance and talk about more of the good stuff that goes unnoticed. Look at the bigger picture. All this talk of doom does is make people just question "What's the point?". Why don't we ever hear about the good stuff?
I've had a pretty pants week really and was feeling in need of something to restore my faith in humanity. As melodramatic as that sounds, it's the truth! I wanted something to show me that people do care. So I sat down and watched The Pride of Britain awards. There were some really inspiring, amazing people on that show who've done some downright amazing things, often for complete strangers. It was really moving. Why don't we see more of this stuff? ONE annual awards ceremony, that's it. The rest of the year all we hear about is people treating other people badly. Where's the incentive to do something about it?! Where's the incentive to help out our fellow man?! Where's the incentive to clean up our act?! If we can see that *we can* make a positive difference then maybe more of us will take that extra step.
I know it's within us...I just hope more of us find it, and do it, soon.
Hilarious...
Read this!
I maintain that hugging is essential. That is all I shall say on the matter (for now!)
- UPDATE 1 -
Knew I couldn't stay away from this for long. Check out the feel good factor...
"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around" - Leo Buscaglia
- UPDATE 2 - Wednesday 8th November
Coincidentally, after my rather traumatic day yesterday (I'll spare you the details), I think the one thing that would have made me feel a whole lot better, would have been a big, tight hug.
I'm about to go and listen to something uplifting but I'm not sure what that'll be as yet...
Arrrrrrrrrrrggggghhhh...
This week everything is stressing me out, even ridiculous little things that shouldn't stress me out. It's completely irrational! Even though I know this I just can't seem to override it and that's stressing me out even more, arrrrrrggggghhhhhhh! (And no I'm not hormonal! :0P)
I had such a lovely half-term. It was soooooooo very good to catch up with friends.We didn't do anything particularly exciting but that's why it was so lovely - we just enjoyed spending time together. Isn't that just the best thing - just hanging out. This is probably what I miss most about uni - in first year we all used to sit up on H3 (our landing) and drink tea and chat for hours; in second year when we lived out we had our little packed lunch club (!) in Trevs bar and in third year we had hot chocolate and banter before bed. At the time I guess we all took it for granted, living in this amazing little tight knit community. That's what I miss now.
Anyway I've totally gone off track. The point I meant to make was that I should have been all relaxed after my lovely week off but by the end of Monday I was in total stresshead mode. I think the darker nights and impending winter have some role to play. Everyone seems to be a tad more gloomy this week. Going to work and coming home from work in the dark is not nice. But I know that the real reason is because I can't stand not being in control. I'm a perfectionist. I need to know where I stand. I need to know I've done or am doing everything I should be doing. As much as I love my job (it's a pretty cool job) the flexibility required just doesn't sit well with my obsessive need to be organised! I need to know what's happening when. I need more structure! I love working one to one with my students (they really are a great bunch) but I'm just not laid back enough when it comes to things changing at the last minute. It frustrates me something rotten. On a positive - I guess it's kinda good that I'm self-aware enough to know why I feel the way I do. Silver lining and all that.
Yeah, so basically I'm feeling a bit irrate this week. As if you couldn't tell!
Today I've been listening to Nerina Pallot (and my new Damien Rice album has been dispatched, woop woop!)
A week in the life of...
In the summer of 2004 I got my digital camera and I've never looked back since. The digital era is well and truly upon us. I have so many photos from my final year at uni and it's great to sift through them and get all nostalgic. There are some really special people, places and memories captured in those millions of pixels! Since I graduated (with the exception of last summer when I went interrailing) I've not really taken a great number of photos, well not compared with the rate I was snapping back then. At uni there were formals and balls - the sorts of things people feel should be photographed. Events - that's what we tend to capture - birthdays, Christmas, nights out.
I got to thinking about all those moments we don't capture - those "I wish I had a camera with me right now" moments in our everyday comings and goings. So I decided to set myself some half-term homework! I took my camera with me everywhere I went whether I was meeting up with friends or walking my dog Kelly. Not only did I get some great photos, I also really enjoyed the experience. I found myself taking more notice of my surroundings, almost as if I was seeking photo opportunities. Walking back from town is usually pretty mundane - I see alot of cars and inhale alot of fumes! But last week I found I was more open to the sights around me because my little mission was always in the back of my mind. One of my best photos was taken while walking back from town. I forgot about the cars and the fumes and enjoyed taking in a beautiful sunset over the town centre. Another of my favourites is of St Andrew's graveyard. As I was stepping off the bus after a trip into town I was faced such a pretty scene - the sun was streaming into the graveyard through the autumn trees and the colours were stunning. I instantly wished I had my camera with me and for once I did! If you're interested to see my week in pictures, they're all up on Ringo (search for me and you should find my pics). Go see! From now on I'll be taking my camera out more often... :0)
I'm still listening to Patrick Park! I listened to a bit of Damien Rice 'O' last night because I've just preordered his new album '9'. It's been 4 years since 'O' was first released. The initial reviews suggest that there's not much progression with this new album, it's more of the same. That's absolutely fine with me!
