Arrrrrrrrrrrggggghhhh...

This week everything is stressing me out, even ridiculous little things that shouldn't stress me out. It's completely irrational! Even though I know this I just can't seem to override it and that's stressing me out even more, arrrrrrggggghhhhhhh! (And no I'm not hormonal! :0P)

I had such a lovely half-term. It was soooooooo very good to catch up with friends.We didn't do anything particularly exciting but that's why it was so lovely - we just enjoyed spending time together. Isn't that just the best thing - just hanging out. This is probably what I miss most about uni - in first year we all used to sit up on H3 (our landing) and drink tea and chat for hours; in second year when we lived out we had our little packed lunch club (!) in Trevs bar and in third year we had hot chocolate and banter before bed. At the time I guess we all took it for granted, living in this amazing little tight knit community. That's what I miss now.

Anyway I've totally gone off track. The point I meant to make was that I should have been all relaxed after my lovely week off but by the end of Monday I was in total stresshead mode. I think the darker nights and impending winter have some role to play. Everyone seems to be a tad more gloomy this week. Going to work and coming home from work in the dark is not nice. But I know that the real reason is because I can't stand not being in control. I'm a perfectionist. I need to know where I stand. I need to know I've done or am doing everything I should be doing. As much as I love my job (it's a pretty cool job) the flexibility required just doesn't sit well with my obsessive need to be organised! I need to know what's happening when. I need more structure! I love working one to one with my students (they really are a great bunch) but I'm just not laid back enough when it comes to things changing at the last minute. It frustrates me something rotten. On a positive - I guess it's kinda good that I'm self-aware enough to know why I feel the way I do. Silver lining and all that.

Yeah, so basically I'm feeling a bit irrate this week. As if you couldn't tell!

Today I've been listening to Nerina Pallot (and my new Damien Rice album has been dispatched, woop woop!)