Babies babies babies!

After a very dull day this made me all warm and fuzzy inside! I want one!*

*not yet though!!!

Life's big questions...

It's been a while since I last blogged and now I'm back it's a pretty deep one. I'm feeling rather 'thinky' today.

In my job I work with such a diverse range of students. I always try to find some common ground with all my students and not to make any presumptions. A lot of the time we're given background information before we meet and I guess it's only human to be building up a picture of what you 'expect' but I always try to come into each new 'relationship' (seems like a bizarre choice of word but that's kinda how the dynamics work) with a blank page, if that makes sense. I'll always remember something the college chaplain said to me when I first started as assistant welfare officer at uni. Ben (the welfare officer) and I were talking to him about his experiences as a chaplain and he was handing us some pearls of wisdom. Obviously as a university chaplain he'd dealt with all sorts of issues and all sorts of people. He said that he always held it in his heart that *everyone* he worked with had something good within them no matter how they appeared on the surface. There may be elements of someone's character and behaviour that he didn't agree with and didn't necessarily like, but he knew that at their 'core' there was something unique and essentially 'good'. I like that idea and it only just dawned on me how much the idea had stuck in my mind. I think that's quite a good mindset to have and it helps me to retain some kind of hope!

So...that had me feeling pretty positive about humanity. I often have a bee in my bonnett about some kind crisis of humanity. I know I can be melodramatic about these things and I've joked several times about my desire to 'save the world'. However even though I would like to 'save the world' I know I can't! Essentially I just want to be a good person and look after those around me, not just those I love but anyone I can support in some way. Feeling as though someone cares about you is a nice feeling. If I can go through my life and feel as though I've done that, and shown people how much I do care, then I'll be happy. I don't like to see all the crap that goes on the world - and there's a lot of it - and I know I can't save the world but I can do my bit, no matter how small that is and how little impact it has. I find it hard to come to terms with the fact I can't make everything better for people. It's a ridiculous notion that anyone could do that. I know that but it still bothers me. I think my job has helped me to realise that that's ok and nothing to feel guilty about, but I do still find it hard. And I get frustrated when I know someone is hurting and there's nothing I can do. I don't like to feel helpless. I don't suppose many people do.

Hmmm, so that's the crux of it really. It'd probably make more sense if I could put into context but I don't think this is the place to write about the things that got me thinking, so random it shall have to remain.

Today has been...

BOOOOOORING! (Not cos it's Valentine's Day :0P) Just in general.

Quite enjoyed watching the Brits tonight though. Don't normally like Russell Brand but thought he was quite funny tonight. Most of the winners wouldn't have been winners if I'd been selecting* but nevermind. I won't lose any sleep over it. Joss Stone is an utter freak. What was that about?! Amy Winehouse looked and sounded pretty bad - usually quite like her (well at least when she's singing...) The Killers put in a good performance though I really wish whats-his-name (lead singer guy...Brandon?) would get rid of that tash - he's much hotter without it. Oasis, hmmm, good music, shame about the attitude! Anthony Head - ahhhhhhhhhh, that was a pleasant surprise.

* My winners would have been:

British male solo artist - Jame sMorrison (and he did win)
British female solo artist - Nerina Pallot
British album - not particularly fussed on any of the nominees...
British breakthrough act - The Kooks
International breakthrough act - Wolfmother (love the afro!)
British live act: Robbie Williams (born entertainer)
British single: ooooh a toughie - it's good to have Take That back bu tChasing Cars is a brilliant song and I love Will young, hmmm...
International male solo artist: Damien Rice
International female solo artist: Pink (loving her album at the mo)
International group: The Killers (they did win)

Not that you care what I think...:0P

Mission complete

At last I have now COMPLETED my Masters application. I shall post it in the morning. I have actually taken a step toward doing something about my future. Pat on the back for me.

I'm a 'new' blogger now...

I managed it eventually. I was really annoyed on saturday when I had stuff to write and then I couldn't get into my blogger account, basically cos I'm a total girl when it comes to computers. I'm willing to admit it. I do try but I just turn all girly whenever anything goes wrong. One day at work last week, my computer went all 'funny'. I swear I didn't do anything. I literally turned my back for a minute to file something, turned back round and the font had gone all 'big' and the colours were funny. So off I marched to the boys in the atrium to save the day. It's like something comes over me where IT is concerned. I did the whole 'bashful girl with no clue' routine *cringe*

Anyhoo, I had lots of stuff to rant about and now I've forgotten what the things were. Clearly you'll be gutted that my nonsensical incessant rambling is now going to be shorter today ;0)

I've been at Hotel Bannatyne today doing some training on Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. It was pretty much a refresher of stuff I did in my degree but it was nice to get out for the day nonetheless. I ridiculously got excited when I noticed Duncan Banatyne outside our suite being filmed. I do tend to get overexcited when I see someone famous. I don't even really know anything about him and from what I do know, he sounds like a bit of an arse really. Still got excited though. I'm strange. I know that. I've accepted it ;0)

I finally got around to watching The Last Kiss over the weekend. I absolutely love Garden State. It's one of my all time favourite films. When I first saw the trailer for The Last Kiss I was really eager to see it thinking it was going to be a Zach Braff masterpiece. I'd heard some bad reviews but thought I'd give it the benefit of the doubt and give it a whirl. It was utterly pants. A synopsis: It follows four men approaching middle age and having a few crises i.e. I'm afraid of settling down and commititing to someone, I think I want to carry on shagging beautiful women and avoiding all responsibility and growing up. It focuses on Zach Braff's character who is 3 years into a relationship with a hot lady who he wants to spend the rest of his life with, when she falls pregnant. He craps himself and goes off with a college girl who lives in a world of make believe when it comes to 'love' and all that e.g. while he's trying desperately to get back into his girlfriend's good books the college girl turns up with a gift for him - a mix CD (awwww *eyes roll*) clearly not realising the magnitiude of the whole predicament. Having said that she is a naiive college girl and he's a 29 year old bloke who *should* know better. At some points I could see where he was coming from and I'm not saying he's not allowed to have 'the fear' but he could deal with it in a more constructive way! The most frustrating bit of the film (in which I lost any ounce of sympathy I did have for him) occured when he kissed the college girl, decided he couldn't go through with the whole shabang, went back to his girlfriedn and confessed. She then chucked him out of their house and what did he do...? Yep that's right, he went back to the college girl's dorm and finished off the deed. KNOB! In the end he realised that he was being pathetic and went about trying to clear up the trail of destruction his insecurities had caused. If he'd just spoken to his partner in the first place...(but then i guess there would be no film, or a very boring one...) Anyway, it's not real, I'm over it now...honest!

I'm going to stop typing now because I really *must* finish my uni application form. It's getting pathetic now. It really won't take that much effort. I'm going to do it now. and stop rambling even though I have much more to ramble about now I've started. But yes. Application. Now!

Bleurghtastic...

I was just watching Dick and Dom's Comic Relief Countdown (as you do on a saturday morning!) and I saw one of the most minging things my fish phobic self has had to endure. It was a clip from the early 90s of a small child holding a live trout. It was squirming alot (as you would if you were a fish out of water) and it slid up the child's hands and into his MOUTH!!!!!!!! It went in as far as its fin...that's some way in given the smallness of said child's mouth. How utterly minging is that?!!! A live trout in his mouth. Live. In his mouth. Slimy live trout in his mouth. *shudder*

Then they did the whole emotive film clip to show the audience why Comic Relief exists and all the great work they do. It gets me every time. I was sat blubbing after a clip which lasted about a minute. There was a little girl who'd been living on the streets on Addis Ababa with her older sister until they'd been separated. The film followed the younger girl's search for her sibling and as you'd expect the reunion was heartwrenching stuff. So do your bit for Comic Relief but don't fall for stupid fads created by profit hungry companies. Stick with cash donations then at least you can be a bit more confident that your money is going where you want it to and not to line some executives pockets further.

Absolutely disgusted

I am enraged afer reading this story on BBC News. How could that have gone undetected for so long? How does someone end up so sick and twisted that they would do that to anyone, let a lone a child. It is utterly disgusting. No doubt Social Services will get the blame as usual...but these people do a bloody good job - as best as they can with the resources and governmental support that they have. But as usual they will be scapegoated. What the fu*k is going on? I'm almost lost for words...but certainly not short of any emotion. I could probably be sick right now.

Old before my time...

So tonight I was 'brave' and I went along to this 'Beau Monde' ladies social club thingmajiggy. There were only 6 of us in the end (apparently due to the short notice...) BUT it was a good night despute the somewhat bizarre circumstances. There was some sociable banter, a nice meal, red wine etc. BUT it got to 11pm and I was ready for home. This concerns me somewhat. I'm 22 and I act like a 30, probably even 40 year old! Dunno what's up with me at the moment - went to bed at 9:45 on thursday night and was in bed by 10:30 last night. That's utterly pathetic! I need to find me some get up and go. Walked to town and back today - that's a good 4 miles. Surely that should have made me feel more energetic?! The reality was that I couldn't wait to get home and have a cuppa, how sad! There's no hope for rme!