I'm pondering...
...how the beautiful live. I think I may struggle to explain this one!
Recently a *very pretty* young lady joined our wee group at work and it's been fascinating to watch how the group dynamics have changed and in particular, how the lads have changed. (Chris I know what you'll say in response to all this - genetic programming, men are fundamentally flawed/shallow - etc etc) but I honestly am finding it quite bemusing. The changes are what you would expect - said young lady gets *alot* of attention and all attention turns to her whenever she is around. In fact alot of conversations come back to her when she's not there aswell (one of these conversations was the one where I was described as the 'safe option' and said young lady was described as 'almost too attractive for girlfriend material' - I don't get that - 'too attractive for girlifriend material' EH?!) There have been many discussions about who would be 'suitable' for her, who is 'cool' enough, what she'd 'go for' etc etc. Even those who are already attached are flirting outrageously. Beauty is a powerful thing! So many judgements and presumptions!
What I've been pondering is...what's it like to be so attractive that you get all this attention? I mean obviously it has its good points - everyone likes to be complimented, it makes you get that nice warm feeling, and she's been welcomed very warmly! But at the same time I wonder...would you question people's motives for talking to you more? Would you feel the pressure to always look amazing? Would you feel that people didn't see 'you' beyond your attractiveness? Would you even care if they didn't?! I guess it would depend on how much you thought about things...hmmm yes! See I don't think I'd like it but I'm thinking about it from the frame of reference of an average Joe and that's bound to change my thinking...hmmm...hence the pondering!
Another thing I've noticed...I don't think we ('the girls') have been any different than we would have been with any new addition to our wee group but things are much more awkward when we engage in conversations with her. Maybe because girlies are renowned for their bitchiness (sad but seemingly pretty accurate!) she feels that we will take an instant dislike to her and feel threatened?! I don't know. Maybe she's conscious of it on some level? Maybe she's just not a girl's girl - lots of women just get on better with blokes. Or maybe we're being just as bad as the lads in making presumptions...
Yeah so that's what I've been pondering during our interactions as a group. Aren't group dynamics an intriguing thing!
Right now I'm listening to Kate Aumonier 'Morning after girl' - a catchy tune and agreeable lyrics! ;0)
Recently a *very pretty* young lady joined our wee group at work and it's been fascinating to watch how the group dynamics have changed and in particular, how the lads have changed. (Chris I know what you'll say in response to all this - genetic programming, men are fundamentally flawed/shallow - etc etc) but I honestly am finding it quite bemusing. The changes are what you would expect - said young lady gets *alot* of attention and all attention turns to her whenever she is around. In fact alot of conversations come back to her when she's not there aswell (one of these conversations was the one where I was described as the 'safe option' and said young lady was described as 'almost too attractive for girlfriend material' - I don't get that - 'too attractive for girlifriend material' EH?!) There have been many discussions about who would be 'suitable' for her, who is 'cool' enough, what she'd 'go for' etc etc. Even those who are already attached are flirting outrageously. Beauty is a powerful thing! So many judgements and presumptions!
What I've been pondering is...what's it like to be so attractive that you get all this attention? I mean obviously it has its good points - everyone likes to be complimented, it makes you get that nice warm feeling, and she's been welcomed very warmly! But at the same time I wonder...would you question people's motives for talking to you more? Would you feel the pressure to always look amazing? Would you feel that people didn't see 'you' beyond your attractiveness? Would you even care if they didn't?! I guess it would depend on how much you thought about things...hmmm yes! See I don't think I'd like it but I'm thinking about it from the frame of reference of an average Joe and that's bound to change my thinking...hmmm...hence the pondering!
Another thing I've noticed...I don't think we ('the girls') have been any different than we would have been with any new addition to our wee group but things are much more awkward when we engage in conversations with her. Maybe because girlies are renowned for their bitchiness (sad but seemingly pretty accurate!) she feels that we will take an instant dislike to her and feel threatened?! I don't know. Maybe she's conscious of it on some level? Maybe she's just not a girl's girl - lots of women just get on better with blokes. Or maybe we're being just as bad as the lads in making presumptions...
Yeah so that's what I've been pondering during our interactions as a group. Aren't group dynamics an intriguing thing!
Right now I'm listening to Kate Aumonier 'Morning after girl' - a catchy tune and agreeable lyrics! ;0)
posted by Sarah @ Thursday, December 07, 2006
4 Comments:
At Friday, December 08, 2006,
Chris said…
This is why beautiful people instinctively gravitate towards each other, cos thier lives become so much more hampered when they decend amongst the disfigured masses of we 'normals'.
They have to contend with females finding any excuse to bitch about them and males tripping over thier own jaws, it mush be hard for the poor pretty people.
It is perfectly possible for someone to be TOO attractive to be girlfriend material. I mean consider the stress involved of being attached to someone you KNOW every straight guy on the planet wants to try and nail. You'd begin to wonder if it was worth the effort...then you remember she lets you see her naked, making it all more than worth it.
So in recap, no it's not possible for someone to be too atrractive, it is however entirely improbable that such a goddess would be remotely interested in a typical male/troll-like being. It's much more comforting for said male to pretend it's his choice that he's not with her...
At Saturday, December 09, 2006,
Mike said…
It's bloody hard work being one of the beautiful people. I should know!
;)
At Saturday, December 09, 2006,
Anonymous said…
I think they don't think about it, because they've always been treated in that way (e.g. people being extra friendly), so they wouldn't know any different!
At Sunday, December 10, 2006,
Anonymous said…
This is an interesting one Sarah, and it's hard to know what to say.
I sometimes think it would be hard to be one of those really attractive people, 1) because you would feel the pressure of keeping up appearences (quite literally - for example what a shocker it would be if she rolled in without any makeup in her sloppy joes -wonder what people would say then!) Secondly, because it would illicit reactions from people that may not eactly be positive. Males may be clambering over themselves to impress bringing out qualities that are not entirely honest. And like you say, most girls make snap judgements about what she is really like. I'm not sure it would be all what it would be cracked up to be.
I would choose being less attractive and know people are honest and straight up with me, rather than contantly wondering 'is he saying that because he wants to get in my pants' or 'is she saying this because she assumes this of me'.
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